When I asked for this book from Jess White, after a lovely photoshoot for his jewellery store, Jaber Na, he mentioned that I would definitely love the read. And he prophesied correctly.

 

It was a little hard to get into. Fortunately, when I decided to go on a month-long music fast, The First Woman by Jennifer Makumbi, was one of the ways I escaped reality. I could no longer watch Netflix or any other film streaming parties as they feature music in there. I could not see how else to escape reality except through reading. It took me two months to get through the 400+ pager.

 

In this novel, I was met with the following themes among others:

• History

• Colonialism

• Sexism

• Feminism

• Cultural rules and limitations to the woman

• Death

• The mother wound

• The family unit

 

We walk Kirabo’s journey as she questions, from age twelve, where the woman who bore her is. And her fierce nature prompts her to finally go find the woman herself.

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Just like in Circling The Sun, Kirabo has mommy issues like the Beryl. It’s not a shocking or even noteworthy aspect in one’s life when their dad is not present. They are known to be disappointing anyway. But when a mother chooses to let a child go and continue their lives without the child, it makes you stop. It makes you ask, why. It makes you wonder, who is this person and what was she going through. It’s a characteristic in a mother that’s misunderstood. It’s shocking. It’s taboo.

Personally, I cannot imagine a world where my mother or my grandmother did not share themselves with me selflessly. And that is a blessing I’ll never take for granted.

 

I would say set in Uganda during the 1970s and 1980s, there are some changes that have happened between then and now. But there are still so many things we are still fighting to see as women in this society.

 

When Kirabo went from the village to that school in the city, there were different groups of girls. The radical ones and the “conservative” ones. I’m investigating why I think of these women – the conservatives - as radical in their own way (too). There is a lot of power in the woman who also makes the home. Then one who makes and creates the place that you call home. The impact they make is internal therefore shaping leaders, creators. They are the ones who create the “radical” women; the ones who can be openly strong and brave in a room full of whoever. And Kirabo being shaped by her grandmothers, was obviously radical.

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The read takes you through a deep personal story of Kirabo and all those that walk with her. I hate how her and her friend, Giibwa, ended up. It was really dark and sad. Friendships are safe spaces that you choose. It’s family that you choose. And to then have it be irreparable, is tragic. Because then, well. That’s that.

 

The only men in that book I remember were the grandfather and Kirabo’s father. I paid little to no attention to their stories really. Yes, they had the wealth and so forth and whatever. But there is nothing else significant except the boundless love that Kirabo’s grandfather had for her, that stood out for me. Her dad? Yeah, no.

 

There’s a way that Makumbi used the death in the family, that revealed deeper constructs in families – African families. I loved that arc.  

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Humans are so vulnerable and open during those times. We let our guards down for a bit and just say whatever, connect, reminisce, remember, fight, cry, laugh. I have a massive respect for how the loss of a life we all witnessed and poured into, removes the veil. Even if it’s just for the duration of the funeral.

 

I have no kids, and I’m not with someone who had kids prior our relationship. But I cannot imagine othering my partner’s children because they are not mine. Children are children – whether they’re mine or yours. Parents and adults are therefore critical in ensuring a space that is home. Especially when it’s an unconventional family setting. Kids need to know who is the person that they can trust, who is the person cheering them on, the person to believe in them and push them. So, take the damn kids in.

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As someone from a close-knit large family, I enjoyed how she reflected and wrote the families and their different characters. I am currently trying to write a short story, and it’s challenging to keep track of each character and balance each one's voices in the overall story in a way that’s somewhat realistic in the 3D. Makumbi does that exceptionally well – we get to see the community that informs Kirabo’s character.

 

 

The novel really kind of felt like I was reading about myself. Not even because there are any apparent similarities between me and Kirabo. I think it’s because she is a character whose honesty and openness makes you eager to experience her story unfold.

 

The witch, Nsuuta, and her life and the way it unfolds? A big part of how culture and community work is that rumours are rumours. And assumptions are made when you’re self-assured and self-aware and won’t group-think. And that is why she is my favourite character.

 

I would like to appreciate the writer for writing the family members altogether, to feel so good. She really draws a colourful picture for us of; everyone that makes Kirabo who she is, and I’m guessing who she will become. In spite of or because.

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One of my other favourite highlights in the novel, is folklore and storytelling across generations. You get to see the importance of stories. And telling them. Documenting them. They are references for whoever’s coming next. And you want it to be real and true and just.

 

It’s a book to read about stepping into your power. Your youness. It sees the human fully as the person who will go at nothing, even if it hurts them, to be their full-on selves. I liked that.

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I support whatever agenda we are pushing with it. That women are everything, the black, the white, the grey. Heck, even the red and the yellow and the blue!

 

Absolutely proud to be a woman in our time.